Well it looks like I survived yet another week! I am officially 256.2 lbs! That is a total of 8.8 lbs closer to getting into baby making mode! Yay me!
I thought I would update everyone on what has been happening this week, so sit tight for a second. I stopped doing the squat challenge when my knee started giving me problems. All those years of catching for softball gave me 40 year old knees! Anyway I decided to get a treadmill that works so I could start really exercising. Hoping to get Ryan on board, we got an elliptical instead because he doesn't like treadmills. Heck! Working out is working out!
I have also realized this week that I favor bananas over other fruits. Being a dialysis nurse, I am sure my patients don't like it when I eat bananas in front of them (they are loaded with potassium!). Anyway, I eat fruits when I am hungry and it isn't time to eat because fruits are zero points. I also drink about 60 ounces of water at work a night so that fills me up too.
When people used to tell me it takes 2 weeks to break a habit, I thought that was silly. But now I find myself reaching for fruits and not chips and grabbing a water and not a coke. It can be done my friends! I am living proof!
-Terese
PS... I have saggy pant syndrome now, but I sure hope I'm losing belly and not booty!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Significant others...
I want to take the time to talk about a subject that a very dear friend of mine mentioned the other day. She stated that sometimes we become complacent when we are seriously dating or married because we realize that person loves us no matter what. Why lose weight when that person is already in love with the real you? She is right. I know that I don't wear make up everyday nor do I put on a push-up bra to impress Ryan anymore. He is lucky if I do put on a bra at all some days.
Anyway, this became all too clear to me the other day when I asked him if I looked skinnier. What was his response? "Baby, you always look good." Although I cannot say that he didn't answer correctly, I can say that it did not make me feel any better. My man means well, but sometimes I would like brutal honesty.
I say this now, but I remember when I was younger and asking my mom what she thought of certain outfits. Talk about brutal honesty! I would get so mad when she would say that something made me look fat! But I did ask for it.
I guess what I am trying to say is that losing weight isn't always pretty. Ever had your significant other catch you sitting in the kitchen crying hysterically next to an empty gallon of ice cream and a half eaten roll of cookie dough? Mine hasn't yet, but he has seen me freak out because I am so hungry sometimes. Although Ryan doesn't tell me honestly if I am losing weight, he sure does know how to make me feel beautiful on my bad days. Moments like that make this transition to being healthier a lot easier and I love him for that!
-Terese
Anyway, this became all too clear to me the other day when I asked him if I looked skinnier. What was his response? "Baby, you always look good." Although I cannot say that he didn't answer correctly, I can say that it did not make me feel any better. My man means well, but sometimes I would like brutal honesty.
I say this now, but I remember when I was younger and asking my mom what she thought of certain outfits. Talk about brutal honesty! I would get so mad when she would say that something made me look fat! But I did ask for it.
I guess what I am trying to say is that losing weight isn't always pretty. Ever had your significant other catch you sitting in the kitchen crying hysterically next to an empty gallon of ice cream and a half eaten roll of cookie dough? Mine hasn't yet, but he has seen me freak out because I am so hungry sometimes. Although Ryan doesn't tell me honestly if I am losing weight, he sure does know how to make me feel beautiful on my bad days. Moments like that make this transition to being healthier a lot easier and I love him for that!
-Terese
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
I OWNED week one!!
Well friends, week one is over and it is time to weigh in!! Drum roll, please....
My current weight is 258.8 lbs!!!
That is a total loss of 6.2 lbs in a week!!!
That's pretty surprising considering the past weekend was a mess! No one wants to cook in the weekends so there was a lot of going out to eat! But I did stick to my guns and counted my points and made sure I stayed within the limits. That is actually harder than I thought. I think there should be a Weight Watchers points logo next to every menu item at every restaurant. It may sound ridiculous, but it sure would make my life a lot easier.
On a more personal note, Nea has finished first grade and lost her first tooth! Our little munchkin is getting so big! So to celebrate, we are going out to eat tonight. Dear Lord, please give me the strength to not eat everything on my plate because this woman is very hungry! Amen.
-Terese
My current weight is 258.8 lbs!!!
That is a total loss of 6.2 lbs in a week!!!
That's pretty surprising considering the past weekend was a mess! No one wants to cook in the weekends so there was a lot of going out to eat! But I did stick to my guns and counted my points and made sure I stayed within the limits. That is actually harder than I thought. I think there should be a Weight Watchers points logo next to every menu item at every restaurant. It may sound ridiculous, but it sure would make my life a lot easier.
On a more personal note, Nea has finished first grade and lost her first tooth! Our little munchkin is getting so big! So to celebrate, we are going out to eat tonight. Dear Lord, please give me the strength to not eat everything on my plate because this woman is very hungry! Amen.
-Terese
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Bargaining...
So I realized something the yesterday and this is how it came about....
I work nights so my sleep schedule is completely off! So instead of starting my Weight Watchers day after I wake up, I start and finish at midnight. So yesterday I woke up at 5:30 pm and Ryan and I went shopping for things to paint and decorate Nea's new room (she is moving into the bigger bedroom!). He had just eaten since he didn't get a lunch at work and I was STARVING! But I put it aside and we went see Iron Man 3 and decided to get dinner afterwards.
My stomach was growling so loud it kept interrupting the movie, but still I kept my composure and refused to eat. After the movie we went to Texas Roadhouse because I figured a grilled steak would be better than something fried. Well when the hostess was packing up our to go order, she asked if we wanted rolls to take home. Stupid question. OF COURSE WE WANT ROLLS!!!! And we got 2 orders to say the least.
When we got home, I was a good girl and ate my steak first with my corn and macaroni and cheese. I still had 3 points left! GO ME! But I really wanted those damn rolls and, go figure, they are 5 points each! What is a girl to do? I ate one roll and use my weekly points to cover that. But the fat girl inside wanted MORE! So I bargained. I told myself, "It is 11:30 pm. I will wait 30 minutes and eat another one and that way I won't use up more points for the day!" So I did. I ate that roll and it felt so good. Too good, in fact.
After sleeping 8 hours that day and having been suffering with a cold, I fell asleep at 12:30. Probably shouldn't have binged at dinner because it was an "I am full therefore I am tired" feeling. So this morning I woke up and I am not hungry. I drank a glass of water and decided to eat when I get hungry. But I am worried that if I wait too long, I will want a big meal later like last night.
Therefore, I have realized TWO things: I need to eat something light when I wake up or start feeling hungry, and I need to stop bargaining when I will eat dinner rolls. I mean really, after a six ounce steak and sides and a dinner roll, did I really need another roll? Probably not! And I didn't wait to fall asleep so that's another strike against me!
I knew this would be hard, but I didn't know dinner rolls would be the devil.
-Terese
I work nights so my sleep schedule is completely off! So instead of starting my Weight Watchers day after I wake up, I start and finish at midnight. So yesterday I woke up at 5:30 pm and Ryan and I went shopping for things to paint and decorate Nea's new room (she is moving into the bigger bedroom!). He had just eaten since he didn't get a lunch at work and I was STARVING! But I put it aside and we went see Iron Man 3 and decided to get dinner afterwards.
My stomach was growling so loud it kept interrupting the movie, but still I kept my composure and refused to eat. After the movie we went to Texas Roadhouse because I figured a grilled steak would be better than something fried. Well when the hostess was packing up our to go order, she asked if we wanted rolls to take home. Stupid question. OF COURSE WE WANT ROLLS!!!! And we got 2 orders to say the least.
When we got home, I was a good girl and ate my steak first with my corn and macaroni and cheese. I still had 3 points left! GO ME! But I really wanted those damn rolls and, go figure, they are 5 points each! What is a girl to do? I ate one roll and use my weekly points to cover that. But the fat girl inside wanted MORE! So I bargained. I told myself, "It is 11:30 pm. I will wait 30 minutes and eat another one and that way I won't use up more points for the day!" So I did. I ate that roll and it felt so good. Too good, in fact.
After sleeping 8 hours that day and having been suffering with a cold, I fell asleep at 12:30. Probably shouldn't have binged at dinner because it was an "I am full therefore I am tired" feeling. So this morning I woke up and I am not hungry. I drank a glass of water and decided to eat when I get hungry. But I am worried that if I wait too long, I will want a big meal later like last night.
Therefore, I have realized TWO things: I need to eat something light when I wake up or start feeling hungry, and I need to stop bargaining when I will eat dinner rolls. I mean really, after a six ounce steak and sides and a dinner roll, did I really need another roll? Probably not! And I didn't wait to fall asleep so that's another strike against me!
I knew this would be hard, but I didn't know dinner rolls would be the devil.
-Terese
Thursday, May 16, 2013
And so it begins.....
Why did I say that? Well I have an answer. Let us start from the beginning........
Growing up I was always on the chunkier side. Kids made fun of me, I always wore a shirt over my bathing suit, and I wouldn't eat much when I was around other people because I thought they would think that was why I am fat. The crazy thing is that I was very active. I played softball, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and I ran track ever since the age of five. The downer is that I NEVER ate healthy. My mother is the first one to say, "I gave her vegetables. She told me she didn't want them. So I never gave them to her again." Whether this is true or not, it wasn't entirely her fault. I am as stubborn as a mule.
Eventually I got to middle school and I grew boobs, started wearing makeup, and began discovering that I had a damn good personality along with a brain! So I fit in pretty well to say the least. High school was no different (although I am sure a lot of people were nice to me because I looked like a linebacker). Anyway, I graduated and went off to college. (Well, I didn't go very far, but it was still college!) And this is where the fun begins...
Being a pre-nursing student at the time, I diagnosed myself with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Instead of grossing out those who are not familiar with PCOS, I will let the brave venture off to Google this disease. Anyway, what do you do when you self-diagnose? You self-medicate! And the solution just happened to be birth control. So off to the doctor I went.
After years of switching between different birth controls because I would get "moody" and some say "psychotic", I decided to free myself from a $50 a month burden. Well, after not having a menstrual cycle for 6 months, I decided maybe I should be properly examined and professionally diagnosed. So the day finally came and the diagnosis I received was called FAT. Well, not really, but the doctor did say that my weight is probably the reason why I do not menstruate. She said, "The good news is that it is not PCOS and losing weight is easy to do." Well here I am: two years later and not a single pound lighter.
I must admit that I never actively tried to lose the weight, but the past eight months have put things into perspective. It all began when I moved in with my boyfriend, Ryan, and his beautiful daughter, Nea. There have definitely been talks of marriage in the future, and we all know what usually comes after marriage!!! BABIES!! Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am BABY CRAZY! Anyway, as exciting as planning for the future is, one thing bugged me. What if I am infertile?!?! So, yet again, I went to the doctor. This man is definitely pro-baby and said he will do anything he can to get me on the right track. He prescribed me progesterone pills that I need to take ten days out of the month to jump start my cycle. He also gave me samples of prenatal vitamins and told me to take ovulation tests everyday to see if I am ovulating. Let me just give you a second to paint a mental picture of Ryan's face when he came home that day and saw my "supplies" on the table! To make a long story not any longer than what it already is, I DO NOT OVULATE! So now it is time to start what I should have started a long time ago! I am going on a diet, people!
To be honest, a part of me wanted to write this blog so that I could embarrass myself into losing the weight. I figured I would put my weight out there and then freak out because I do not want people to know I weigh that much and, in turn, I would force myself to lose the wight. But as I thought about it (I mean seriously thought about it), I realized I am probably not the only one going through this. I figure I can vent all my thoughts and feelings throughout this struggle and maybe I can let someone else know that this is HARD and they are not alone
!
So, without further ado, I have started Weight Watchers (mainly because work reimburses me) and I have also started the 30 Day Squat Challenge!! I plan on posting weekly with weight updates but I am sure I will be here more frequently complaining about how I want to bob for peanut butter cups in a vat of hot fudge! So sit tight and enjoy the show!!
Oh, I forgot to mention (actually I have been postponing it), my starting weight is 265 lbs. Now I am off to do 50 squats!
-Terese
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